Phu Cat AB 1970..July 4th

It 1970 on the fourth of July 1970. I was station at Phu Cat Air Base in the middle of a terrible war. I was proud to be an Air Force administrative assistant. Pretty safe except for an occasional bomb that came across our well protected perimeter. It was a holiday so our food was abundant, almost to the point of embarrassment , when there were so many hungry people out side out gates. My friends and I were walking up the pitch dark dirt path as we began to realize it was the Fourth Of July. We were all used to the annual fireworks display. We were almost happy that our evening was free of bombs and explosions. Thst precisely at midnight we saw a flair go up at the perimeter gate. Than another than another. Before long the flairs formed a complete circle around our base. It was the security police who were faithful in keeping us safe that were stationed around the perremiter. It brought tears to my eyes and reminded me that we were being protected by some pretty brave men. It seemed this is whst freedom and the celebration of the fourth of July is all about. To this day when I see spectacular firework displays, I can't help but remember this night in the middle of a war and how blessed we as a nation are. [ ]

My Irish Friend

Patrick

I sat alone on the old wooden swing,

caressed by the autumn breeze as it  washed across my face.

It feels empty now without 

 the sturdy shoulder

                                                 relaxed beside me

                               of the man I now call friend.
It was Viet Nam that brought our lives together,
                             but it was our  hearts that made us friends.

Patrick was an Irishman,

                              who came  to war to see the world

                                                    and he did.

He saw the anguish of war

                                but he soon looked past the pain

and saw the children of war....

              and love came in the form of tiny hands and feet

and eyes , the depth of which would sear a hole in Patrick's heart.

 These orphans of Viet Nam, held close and sheltered by

the Sisters and Soldiers,

                                not hungry,

not left alone to fend for them selves.

They knew love,  They knew joy

and play as if the world around them

                would one day be free from rockets and bullets.

Patrick became a father, brother , friend to the Children of war.

He stood with them.  He taught them and sometimes

looking past the frightful fear of war...just held them.

He balanced duty to the American cause,

                                                  a duty of choice not birth,

with compassion and love for the Children of war.

We met in a horrible war,

                     but because of Patrick I will forever be changed.

He shared the children of war and I became a better person.

He unleashed a compassionate heart

                                              and took me to a place.

a place of peace in a world of fear and uncertainty.

It became a time to pour out feelings

and  surround those loving children

                             with our arms and our heart

and give the gift of feeling wanted in a world filled with

 rage and useless  battles and struggles to exist.

I came home.

Home to wife and child and began my life.

But the thought of war would soon return and the haunting of

those children's hungry eyes filled my soul.

In silence, I cried.

In silence, I feared their unknown being.

Battles end but mothers and fathers remain absent to these

            Holy Children of War.

My only hope was that God would lift them to the sky

               and bless them and make them

 The children of love.

I lost Patrick, or Paddy they called him.  Lost him as the war

ended for me.

But the burden of memory called me to search him out.

I found Patrick.

Not broken by the weight  of war

but living and loving and moving on in his father's homeland.

Home found him, and soon so did wife and child

                                                   and love healed his heart.

Little did I ever hope or dream that in finding this Irishman,

            cultures and experience a million miles apart,

Our souls would touch

                 and we would become more than friends,

more than brothers,

                 more in life than we deserve from God.

Soul friends are not ordinary,

                     they can not be defined.

Words can not explain.......only feelings of the heart.

Soul friends have no logic or reason.

                                                         They just are.

So now I set alone in my wooden swing and I celebrate.

One day....maybe just for a moment in time,

                        our hearts will touch again

and the conversation that we did not complete on

that Indiana summer day in the old wooden swing,

                                                                        will continue

and God will say

                                     Amen. 

My Irish Friend

                           

 I sat alone on the old wooden swing,

feeling the autumn breeze wash across my face.

It feels empty now without  the sturdy shoulder

relaxed beside me
                                of the man I now call friend.

We met in a war,...... but still it was a joyous time.

A time to pour your feelings out
and surround those loving children
                                                with your arms and your heart

and give a  moment of feeling wanted 
                                                          in a world filled with fear

and useless  raging  battles and  struggles to exist.

These orphans of Viet Nam held close and sheltered by

the Sisters and the soldiers,
                                            not hungry,         
not left along to fend for themselves.
They knew love,                    they new joy
and play and lived  as if the world around them

                        would someday be free of rockets and bullets .

Patrick was an Irishman,
                                    who came to war to see the world.

                                                                                  and he did.
He saw the anguish of war
                                               but he looked past the pain and

saw the children 
                             and fell in love with faces
                                                                       and tiny hands.
Patrick became a father, a brother, a friend
                                                                  to the children of war.
He stood with them,  he taught them and sometimes looking past the frightful fear for his own safety...just held them .
He balanced duty to an American cause,
a duty of choice not birth, with compassion and love for the Children of war.

Because of Patrick, I will forever be changed.
He shared the children of war and I became a better person.
He unlocked a compassionate heart
                                                              and took me to
place of peace in a place of fear and war.

I came home.
Home to wife and child and began my life.
But the fear of war would soon return and the haunting of the children's hungry  eyes filled my soul.
In silence, I cried. 
In silence, I  feared their unknown being.
War may end but mothers and fathers remain absent to these
Holy Children of War.
My only hope was that God would lift them to the sky
                                                    and bless them and make them 
 The Children of Love.


I lost Patrick, or Paddy as they called him. Lost him as the war ended for me. 
But the burden of memory called me to search him out.
I found Patrick,
not broken by the pain of war
but living and loving and carrying on in his father's homeland.
Home found him, and soon so did wife and child
                                             and  time and love healed his heart.
 
Little did  I ever hope  or dream that in finding this Irishman,
                            cultures and experience a million miles apart,
Our souls would touch
                                   and we would  became more than friends, 
more than brothers,
                                         more in life that we deserve from God.

Soul friends aren't ordinary friends. 
                                                  They can not be defined.
Words can not explain......  Only feelings .

Soul friends have no logic or reason. 
                                                              They just are.
So now I set alone in my wooden swing and I celebrate that
one day,...... maybe just for a moment in time , our hearts will touch again
                 and the conversation that we did not complete on that Indiana summer day in that old wooden swing,
                                                                            will continue
 and God will say
                                            AMEN.

OTHER SELF

Two faces stand before the door,

                                        Naked and vulnerable.

They plead, first softly,   than a scream.

To be admitted and to admit.

Born into a world
                                that told me who to be.
Born into a world
                                 that kept me locked inside.
I always felt the shadow,
                                    the warm breath on my neck
invisible but ever present, ever near.

But still I kept him hidden,
                                       in the billows of my heart.


So easy to hide.............that other self.

Just close my eyes and be what they expect.


But......now I know each moment hidden in the fog.

will hide the beauty that's within.

                                 two faces escapes into the night.

Come out true self, come out and join the journey.

Believe that those who meet you first,

will bring you home to stay,

I love you dear self,

I love you and I will protect.

A WALK INTO THE WOODS

Standing in the middle of the Forest,

Feet firmly planted on the crisp and
                         crunchy pathway that leads home.

The last leaf is layered like a carpet beneath

the tall oak tree.

Bowing to it's  majesty and grandeur.

Remembering lush green days of springtime,

 limbs flit and fluttering in the early winter breeze.

Remembering the tapestry of color

weaving its heart through the landscape.

So rich in hue that only God's

palette could hold

                            the rich and
regal spectrum we call Fall.

I look up, up up up to the one lone

leaf hanging on,

                              not quite ready to
give into the winter winds.

With arms stretched up to heaven,

the tall oak trees point to God
                         pointing back to them.

Listen!   Listen!

In the silence of the forest I hear
                         God's symphony
                                      sounding
the song of nature.

I hear the thump  thump  thump
             of a loving heart .
                                        feeling..
Feeling the presence of God.

The presents of God,
       wrapped in brightly colored
ribbons ....
Ready to be unwrapped.

The hymn is clear and simple,
    God is in this moment and
this moment is in God.

A walk into the woods is a walk

into God's sanctuary.

The sanctuary that God calls home.

THE PRICE OF LOVE

As legacy's go, they will live on to be her legacy.

                                                   A gift left to the world.

An inheritance worth more than gold and jewels.

Each benefactor will testify, with their life and courage,

                                             to the woman  they called Mom.

Each will stand tall and give support to me

and each other,

                         because that is who we are.

I can not promise that I will ever quit

                                    grieving for the love of my life.

But the day will come when I will hear her small voice

insisting that I......

                                 get on with it.

Until than I will unfold the memories

and celebrate the living and loving what we shared.

I will try to give back the courage and

                             the loving heart that filled her breast

and surrounded her life and spilled over into mine

                                              and to those who knew her.

Grief never ends...but changes over time.

Grief is a passage,

                            not a place to live.

Grief is not a sign of weakness,

                                                  not a lack of faith.

Grief is the price of love.

It Is Not I

It is not but God, the Spirit

                                              bellowing through

me.

    pushing,                                      tossing,

proding.

Un relentless.

Gentle as a whisper on a child's cheek

Awesome as a windmill drawing water from the

dirt.

Lifting.                      sailing

Carried toward a new and glorious place and

time.

                                       I must bow to His call..

even for a time.

A sacred spear of life in total turmoil with itself...

         needs a carver to chisel down the layers

                                                   of grief and misunderstandings.

         Can I be the chisel or am I that which is to be

                                                                                  chiseled?

Crack me open.......

          Help me  to find the perfect  peace that comes from

                                                                                            Knowing God.

Fill me with passion and presence

              so I overflow with

                                           a need to embrace the Spirit.

                                                       and spill that embrace into the world.

Three Angels stand at the door...

     Hope in a place that is hopeless.

           Hunger in a world that is filled.

                 Love that joins hands

                                                   across the borders.

I embrace....I become..
                               .I am the tear on God's dear cheek.

I have no choice but to listen....
                                                   .I am because God is.