How Do I Picture God

HOW DO I PICTURE GOD?
　
When my dad passed away in 1987, I was totally devastated. I not only lost a parent and mentor, I lost my best friend. I reconciled my grief by building this image of him living inside of me. His spirit with in me somehow gave me not only strength to wade through a very depressing time in my life, It also filled me with the warmth and security of his constant presence. It was reassuring than, as it is now to be able always to feel his presence and be able to have a continuing conversation of sorts.
Soon after I framed a collage of pictures of his life at several different stages.. Each picture had a definite significance for me and helped to keep his memory fresh in my mind and heart. Each morning when I got up and each night as I prepared for bed, he was there When my recollections of him faded a little, the pictures were there taking me back to places and times I shared with him.
For fifteen years or so I kept the collage of pictures over my dresser. As time passed the feelings of closeness to him of course faded some but still the warmth of his presence was there inside of me.
I came home one day and the hanging pictures of my dad were missing. I searched and soon found on my dresser in it’s place a small framed picture of both my mom and dad. Joyce had done some “redecorating” and had relegated this large collage of pictures to the back of my closet. I was unexpectantly fine with it. After all I am the usual person to do the “decorating” and I knew it didn’t “fit” in with the scheme of things. I think after all those years, I realized my dad’s image was pretty well implanted in my mind’s eye and this small picture was perfect.
Fast forward to last year. We decided to do a complete overhaul of our bedroom, which meant we moved out for a month or so, to enable the walls to be reworked. In the midst of all this chaos , the framed picture of my dad disappeared. When we moved back into our bedroom , I was minus a dresser and a picture. In the process I realized once and for all that the image of him in a frame was no longer required to feel his presence . I had grown to be a nearly 60 year old man and he had been there ever present in my soul and remains there to this very moment.
In church lately we are in the process of redefining our concept and image of God and Jesus. Just like when my dad died we keep pictures and crosses in our presence to remind us of God and Jesus. Once a month we take communion so that we can reflect on God and Jesus. Pretty much everything we do or say in church reminds us and hopefully takes us back to a time when we were in a perfect relationship with God and Jesus.
Recently I visited my dads grave and it reminded me how my image of him has stayed the same even though I know his body still rests in that grave and there is no way it bears any resemblance to the man I knew .
Our image of Jesus is built on what makes us feel good, not necessarily on a true “picture” of the man called Jesus. Growing up in the church we all choose different ways of seeing Jesus. I choose not to reflect on the bloody Christ of the crucifixion. I prefer a more attractive somewhat fatherly dark skinned Jesus much like Salman ,the artist , drew him.
Our image of God has been much more difficult to define. It seems we gave God a human body and patterned our image after anyone or anything we were taught was powerful and wise; usually a bearded old man in long white flowing robes. The closer I get to calling myself old and wise, the more I am sure this is a poor image to look up to. I certainly don’t think age necessarily makes us all that wise.
But still we talk of God in human language. It comforts us to feel God’s arms around us. It reassures us to have Gods hand in all of our business dealings. The words that came out of his mouth speak to us through the e Bible and through prayer. We are never alone when we walk with God. We sometimes even feel his breath as the wind swirls through our lives.
I enjoy being a human and thank God for that opportunity . I even enjoy thinking of God with human
characteristics. This is part of my religious tradition. But I think also that giving God human qualities only limits who he is and what he is about. While retaining my traditional image of God, I am constantly trying to redefine who and what God is for me personally. In one of our classes at church we spoke of the “thin places” in our lives. I understand this to mean those times when God is most present and most visible. It is like the smoke suddenly clears and we can see and touch and smell and feel God with us.
For me ,It could be as dramatic as seeing the birth of my grandchildren and as simple as singing a special song.
As I get older and maybe wiser I find that God is there even in those mundane times of everyday life, when it seems like nothing is happening .
Going to Honduras recently, I first saw God in the mountains and the trees. But more importantly I saw God in the faces of both children and adults. I saw God in young doctors and students with compassion and hope in their eyes. I saw God in a concrete slab that will someday house a clinic to meet the needs of a deserving people.
The God I choose to follow is in the eyes of my grandchildren and their parents. The God I choose to follow is also in the eye of a small child looking up to his two fathers who some would say do not deserve the opportunity to be a husband or a father because of their sexual orientation. It is the quiet places of my life that I see and feel the warmth of God’s loving heart. There I did it again, didn’t I. I gave God a human heart. Well tradition is hard to change and in spite of my new image of God, I still get comfort in thinking of God’s arms around me.
The pictures I have of my Dad as well as the images we create of God and Jesus will always be there to remind us. But the true image of a personal God can only come from within each of us. It takes effort.
I may never have a complete image of my God. But that is alright. God is God and he made us and will never expect more from us than to be human.